• Home
  • Classes
  • Books & Art
    • Blog
    • Podcasts
  • Women Over 50
  • KGT COMMUNITY
  • Contact
Menu

Susan McCulley

Street Address
City, State, Zip
Phone Number
Move. Connect. Feel.

Your Custom Text Here

Susan McCulley

  • Home
  • Classes
  • Books & Art
  • Blog & Pod
    • Blog
    • Podcasts
  • Women Over 50
  • KGT COMMUNITY
  • Contact
2021_12 Susan branding photos-34.jpg

BLOG

Uncertainty’s certainty

April 22, 2025 Susan McCulley

Managing the constant uncertainty of living is a wobbly business. (Photo: Rebecca George Photography)

“Sticking with uncertainty is how we learn to relax in the midst of chaos, how we learn to be cool when the ground beneath us suddenly disappears. We can bring ourselves back to the spiritual path countless times every day simply by exercising our willingness to rest in the uncertainty of the present moment – over and over again.”~ Pema Chödrön , Comfortable with Uncertainty


Since January 20, 2025, the US stock market has plummeted. As historian Heather Cox Richardson recently reported,

The threat of instability if Trump tries to fire [Federal Reserve chair Jerome] Powell, added to the instability already created by Trump’s tariff policies, saw the Dow Jones Industrial Average fall 971.82 points, or 2.48%; the S&P 500 dropped 2.36%, and the Nasdaq Composite fell 2.55%. The dollar hit a three-year low, while the value of gold soared. Journalist Brian Tyler Cohen noted that since Trump took office, the Dow has fallen 13.8%, the S&P 500 is down 15.5%, and the Nasdaq is down 20.5%. (Letters from an American April 21 2025)

Journalists and financial folks say “business does not like uncertainty,” and “uncertainty is the worst thing for business.” Which kind of cracks me up. Since who does like uncertainty and what’s more, when was the last time we were certain about anything?

We might feel a sense of predictability or stability but I would argue that those are illusions. If someone had asked me early in March 2020 if I felt like things were relatively stable and predictable, I would have said yes. And then, the world shut down in a way that was completely unprecedented and chock full of uncertainty.

So, yes, business is uncomfortable with uncertainty because most people are uncomfortable with uncertainty. This is why Buddhist nun, Pema Chödrön calls getting comfortable with uncertainty the warrior’s path, a spiritual path. Since who of us could stay “cool when the ground beneath us suddenly disappears”?

It is a practice, to be sure.

That practice is to remind ourselves that uncertainty is the way it is. Historians might point to precedent and economists might point to trends. We might chart our uncertain course by these markers but the reality is that nobody knows what or how it will unfold. We are all, to paraphrase meditation teacher Sharon Salzberg, one phone call away from our lives being completely upended.

Living in the United States right now is like getting that phone call every day.

Rebecca Solnit writes about uncertainty with reassuring wisdom:

I know we don't know exactly how and when [something more than the current protests] will happen, but I suspect it will, and I suspect it will start with something small, with a ‘one more thing/one last straw’ kind of incident. No one knows when or where.

Think about your life. Think about all the things that have happened to bring you to right now. Some of them may have been planned and expected – education, graduations, maybe the pursuit of a career — but none of them were certain.

And even if those expected things happened, are you still on the trajectory you thought you were on when you were 20 (and if you’re 20 or younger, 5 years ago)? I’d wager not. I suspect that you unexpectedly lost a job or got one. I suspect you were once surprised by the end of a relationship or the start of one. That you started something you thought would be temporary until it wasn’t, or you started something that you thought would be permanent until it wasn’t.

So humor me: assume that everything is uncertain and always has been. If that’s the case, what do we do? How do we live day to day in that kind of wobbliness?

Solnit suggests that we just keep going,

“...I don't know. Neither do you. No one does. All we can do is keep showing up, keep speaking up, keep donating, keep connecting, keep our values close and our courage strong and keep an eye out. And not give up, including not settling into this as though it's normal or permanent or we're helpless. I think I said here before that it's like we can pile up the fuel for the bonfire but it's lightning that will ignite it.”

I won’t lie: there are days when the barrage of soul-crushing atrocities and cruel arrogance of this country is more than I can take. There has been ugly crying and black moods, believe me. But most days, I do my best to keep checking in with my values and to keep showing up.

The words of teachers like Ani Pema, Heather Cox Richardson and Rebecca Solnit remind me of what I already know: uncertainty is the way of this world but that doesn’t mean we don’t have agency. As Solnit writes,

I know a lot of people these days are uncomfortable with uncertainty, but I'll take the true knowledge that is we don't know over the false knowledge that we do. No one knows the future. But we do know the past, which tells us that things happened no one anticipated, that history itself is made out of surprises that only seem obvious or inevitable in retrospect.

When in doubt or confusion with swirling, ever-present uncertainty, think of the things in your own life that now seem inevitable but were, when they were happening, unexpected, surprising and made no sense. That’s just what it’s like living here in the uncertainty of now and it can be scary and confusing...which is why we simply must keep going together.


Sources:

Comfortable with Uncertainty by Ani Pema Chödrön

Heather Cox Richardson Letters from an American April 21, 2025

When Hope and History Rhyme by Rebecca Solnit

More Essays on Uncertainty:

Recognizing that I hardly wrote this essay but rather quoted some beloved writers/teachers, I offer two other of my essays on Uncertainty:

Anniversary

Adventures Unplanned

Tags Pema Chodron, Heather Cox Richardson, Rebecca Solnit, Sharon Salzberg, uncertainty, activism
1 Comment

Waves: Using My Own Advice To Stay On My Feet

March 3, 2025 Susan McCulley

Me and some waves (not the big, relentless kind) in Martinique 2024.

Chest deep in the Atlantic, feet grounded in the sand, I am focused, a little nervous, excited. The waves are powerful and relentless but I keep turning toward them and diving straight in. Over and over.

"I got this," I think. "This is like living in our country right now. It's relentless and we just have to keep looking straight at it and keep diving in."

“Aren't I brave and strong and clever?” I think. “I'll write an essay. It will inspire people. It will be great. We'll keep diving in together!”

Then a wave towers up and starts breaking sooner than the others. I am caught in between and hesitate, unsure when and where to leap. I duck under but too late. The water rushes my legs out from under me and sucks me backwards. I find my feet only to see another wave breaking too soon, too high, too fast. It wipes me out again.

Breathless and scared, I get to shallower water. I don't want to get out of the water, but I need to get my bearings. Watching the waves from this safer distance, I can barely believe I'd been swimming in any of it at all.

For months, I've been counseling people to limit news consumption and to focus on local action. Don't just spin in the awful. Bring your energy to what you can do. Connect with other people. Literally or figuratively join hands with them.

My first invitation to those stepping into activism is to answer these three anchoring questions *:

  1. What is good, beautiful and working?

  2. Who or what are you willing to stand up for, clasp hands with, and work for?

  3. What is your superpower? What do you do well and with joy?

But here I am traveling on a tropical island and I've wandered away not just from home but from these anchoring questions, from the very advice that I disperse. I keep diving into the news over and over, I keep looking at the big, national, global picture and getting wrapped around the axle of my helplessness. I get whipped into a lather of fury and fear about sh*t that I cannot do one. single. thing. about. And I feel alone.

By not following my own advice, I have whipped my own legs out from under me. I've created my own dangerous, ugly riptide on this beautiful island of flowers, fan palms, and tiny, sweet bananas.

After grump-tramping my way through a hike one morning, I dive into the turquoise sea. Its salty warmth literally buoys me. I feel myself start to soften by taking in what is good and beautiful. As soon as I look, it’s everywhere.

Instead of going back to the news, I meditate in the cool of the afternoon. I draw for a while: a palm tree, a lizard. I make a pattern of crabs and stones and fish. I play around with drawing hands holding each other.

hands holding hands.jpg
hands tree sketch.jpg
leaves sketch.jpg
palm tree patterns.jpg
shells.jpg
hands holding hands.jpg hands tree sketch.jpg leaves sketch.jpg palm tree patterns.jpg shells.jpg

These are difficult day, no question. Keep checking in with yourself: are you in your body? Is your mind spinning? Is your stomach (or jaw or shoulders or stomach or hands) clenched? Keep finding your feet. Keep coming back to yourself. It’s the only way out of the riptide.

It sucks to feel so scared. My anger can literally take my breath away. I have to remind myself, over and over, to extend my exhale, to not gobble the news, to see what else is around me. And there it is: a huge sweeping rainbow. And a bright green lizard. And a tiny banana, as sweet as can be.


* More on those three anchoring questions:

1. What is good, beautiful and working?

This question grounds us in the full vision of the world. It is a terrible, cruel mess, yes. And everywhere, always, there are good, beautiful things. People who are helping and working to take care of those who are suffering. In order to proceed with calm, centered and clarity, we need to be able to see all of it.

2. Who or what are you willing to stand up for, clasp hands with, and work for?

This question helps narrow our focus to align precisely with our values. I can care about lots of things but in order to use my time, energy and money wisely, I need to focus on just a few. I can’t do everything. I can’t even do a lot of things well. This question targets our efforts.

3. What is your superpower? What do you do well and with joy?

This question identifies what you can do that will make the most impact on the world. Twentieth century philosopher and theologian, Howard Thurman said, “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” When we are frightened and desperate, we can find our selves agreeing to do work that deadens us because we think it’s what’s needed. I’ve done it so many times. But what really makes a difference, what really makes positive change and the world a better place is you doing what makes you light up. Go. Do. That.

Tags waves, riptide, politics, activism, three questions
12 Comments

Three Questions For When You Don’t Know What To Do

December 17, 2024 Susan McCulley

For when you don’t know which direction to go. (Photo: Rebecca George Photography)

"Do what you do best. To the best of your ability. For the good of others." ~ Charles Handy

What do you do when you don’t know what to do?

In talking to people recently, the most common thing I hear is, “I don’t know what to do. I don’t even know where to start.”

For many, this concern is about the suffering that is happening all around us: from increased hatred and harm toward marginalized folks, to the repercussions of climate change, to the degradation of democracy. There is so much that we care about and the sheer magnitude can leave us paralyzed.

And this same “don’t know what to do” feeling can be personal, closer to home. Maybe children are launching. Maybe marriages and jobs are ending. Maybe a diagnosis has us reevaluating our health. Maybe a loss has left us questioning our priorities.

In heavy, confusing times, Glennon Doyle suggests to “just do the next right thing, one thing at a time.” But sometimes, the needs are so pressing and so enormous that we struggle to know what the next right thing even is.

Keep Going Together, a grassroots group supporting non-profit organizations working to reduce harm and suffering in Charlottesville, had its first meeting last week. We began our approach to the staggering need and our passion to be of service with three questions that were inspired, in part, by Charles Handy’s quote above.

Three Questions For When You Don’t Know What To Do:

1. What is good? What is working? What is beautiful?

2. What are you passionate about? What issues or people do you feel compelled to stand up for and take action on?

3. What is your superpower? What makes you come alive? What do you do with joy?

Any time things feel wildly messy and you don’t know what to do, these three questions are a good place to start, and here’s why:

Why These Three Questions When You Don’t Know What To Do?

1. What is good? What is working? What is beautiful?

If things are hard and stuck, it can be easy to mire ourselves even further in every.single.thing. that is wrong and broken and cruel in the world. Because there is so much that is a mess. And. AND there is so much that is good (even people!), working (warm water out of the tap!), and beautiful (the sky! squirrels! hot coffee!).

When you feel paralyzed, the best place to start is not on what needs fixing but what is already whole and amazing. Moving forward in dark times requires us to hold both simultaneously: the beautiful and the horrible, the harmful and the healing, the broken and the fully functioning. This first question helps us open our eyes and take in all of it. It helps us be with the Both/And of living in the world.

2. What are you passionate about? What issues or people do you feel compelled to stand up for and take action on?

There is so much to do in our personal lives and in the larger world. We can’t work on all of it at once. The best place to start is where your passion is. What lights you up? What sets a fire in you? It might be your health or supporting someone in your life or it might be the LBGTQ kids at the local high school or the polluted river that runs through your town or your underfunded city library. Whatever it is, personal or public, start there.

This second question helps us identify your values and what specifically matters to you most right now. And if *everything* fires you up, remember the words of Ursula Wolfe-Rocca:

“It can be overwhelming to witness / experience / take in all the injustices of the moment; the good news is that they’re all connected. So if your little corner of work involves pulling at one of the threads, you’re helping to unravel the whole damn cloth.”

3. What is your SUPERPOWER? What makes you come alive? What do you do with joy?

The second most common thing I hear from folks these days is that they don’t know what their superpower is and don’t know how they can contribute. Maybe “superpower” is too strong a term for some, so let me put it this way, what is the thing that you do easily but when others remark upon its wonder, you say, “Oh that? That’s nothing.”

When you don’t know what to do, trust those things that you do with energy and joy. Twentieth-century philosopher and theologian Howard Thurman said,

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

When you don’t know what to do, start with your own aliveness. Start with what you would do if the world wasn’t burning down. Start with what you love to do and do well ... and go from there.

It’s natural to feel stuck and uncertain about how to proceed in the face of daunting challenges and overwhelming problems. Whether those issues are in the private or public sphere, it makes sense that there are many times when we don’t know what to do.

These three questions can help to unlock our eyes and our energy. They can thaw our frozen parts and invite in some breath and life. Come back to these three questions over and over. The answers might shift over time; they likely will. It’s in the asking that the ice jam shifts and movement happens again.

Tags Charles Handy, Glennon Doyle, Howard Thurman, Ursula Wolfe-Rocca, questions, activism, overwhelm
4 Comments

What Now? Keep Going Together.

December 3, 2024 Susan McCulley

Keep Going Together. (Logo by Howell Burnell)

“When you’re going through hell, keep going.” ~ Unknown

It happened when my first marriage collapsed.

It happened when 80% of the company I worked for (including me) suddenly got laid off.

It happened when COVID hit.

And it happened after the 2024 election.

Every time, everything that mattered to me was over. Everything I’d structured my life around fell apart or disappeared. Every time, it felt like stumbling unexpectedly into a dark room: disoriented, confused, afraid.

Every time, I said, “Well damn. What now?”

We’ve all had “What now?” times in our lives. In my experience, the short answer to the question is to keep going.

One of my favorite quotes (oft misattributed to Winston Churchill) is “When you’re going through hell, keep going.”

In the mid-90s when about 50 of my colleagues and I were unexpectedly laid off, we created a group to help each other find new jobs. After a day of stunned astonishment and anxiety, we sat at the company conference table and committed to supporting each other. We all shared what we were looking for and connected each other to our contacts in those fields. We read over resumes and cover letters. We arranged meetings and celebrated like crazy when folks landed a new position.

Don’t get me wrong, it totally sucked. But there was something about taking a deep breath, gathering together, and finding a way through.

Any time I’ve been caught up short by an unexpected and difficult turn of events, any time I’ve asked, “What now?” it’s been similar. I spend a certain amount of time on the floor in child’s pose and then I gingerly look up, find my people and keep going. I never know what the hell I’m doing. I make it up as I go along and then some kind of barely visible path emerges and I just start following it.

This time is no exception.

This election literally brought me to my knees. There was ugly crying and rage screaming. There was a deep desire to rear end cars with certain bumper stickers. There were routes home that I chose not to take so I didn’t have to look at wretched yard signs.

And inevitably, there was “What now?”

This time, the answer is “Keep Going Together.”

Keep Going Together (KGT) is a group of people committed to democratic values, inclusion (particularly of the most marginalized), equity, and local action focused on mitigating harm & suffering in the face of ongoing and increasing oppression in our community.

The mission of this group is to support, protect and provide accountability for each other while also protecting and supporting the most vulnerable and marginalized people and environments in our local area. This is not a group for big national political efforts, organizing protests or boycotts or arguing about political strategy (all worthy things to do!). Instead KGT is a grassroots collective that offers help locally and directly with the intention of reducing harm & suffering.

Our initial idea is to create events and experiences to raise funds and recruit volunteers for local non-profit organizations which will likely be impacted by the incoming political regime.

We have a Facebook group to gather resources and share inspiration and more than 100 of us from all over are there interacting every day. Our first in-person meeting in Charlottesville is on Fri Dec 13 from 4-530pm in the Aldersgate Room at Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church* at which we will talk about where to start.

Heaven knows that none of us has a clue what the future holds. Of course we don’t. But this could be a place to begin walking (or staggering or crawling) through the darkness together.

If this sounds like an interesting answer to your “What now?” I hope you’ll join us. Maybe you want to start a group like this in your area. Maybe you want a group of people to volunteer with for a cause you care about. Maybe you want to just feel less alone. If you are aligned with these ideas, you are welcome. Anybody anywhere can join the FB group and/or our email list. And anyone in Charlottesville can join our planning meeting on Fri, Dec 13 at 4-530pm in the Aldersgate Room at Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church.*

When faced with “What now?” moments, coach Tiffany Han says, “You’re doing great. You’re not alone. Keep going.”

Yes. Here we are. We can do this together.


*The Aldersgate Room at Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church is at 1901 Thompson Rd but is accessed also via Emmett Street.

Street parking is not available. Please park in the UVA Garage or at the church in spots 1-4 by the steps leading up to the playground and the spots directly in front of the church, spots 29, 31, 32, 33, 34. All other spots are rented until 6pm so are unavailable.

Many thanks to Jan Rivero for arranging the use of the space!

Please RSVP by responding below or emailing me! I'm looking forward to being together!

Tags Howell Burnell, Tiffany Han, Keep Going Together, Charlottesville, activism
Comment

Join my email list and get new posts delivered every usually straight to you! Plus I’ll send you FREE body-centered stress relief practices just for being awesome. Can’t wait to connect.

Name *
Thank you!